Galactic Symphonies

I was going through some of my late father's old files when I stumbled across his astrophotography. He seriously invested in his telescopes and lenses and took amazing photos of the night sky. 

I remember how he'd be outside during the dark hours between 12 and 5 in the morning, staying however long it took just to take one perfect photo.

And how he'd spend his days with his lenses laid out on his bed, carefully cleaning each and every one of them. It makes me sad to think of all his treasures locked up in a box, going to waste.

He made us promise never to sell them, but we don't know what to do with them. I don't know how to use them, even though I know he really wants me to.

And that kills me a little inside- knowing that I cannot keep that promise.

It was a secret haven littered with remnants of youth: broken bottles, shards of glass scattered across the floor, burned pieces of paper from nights of boredom, old and empty cigarette packets, a dusty armchair and newspaper clippings among other things. It was a time capsule, and he said it was ours for the taking. We could relive our golden days, go back to the time where everything was okay and all of today's problems, frustrations, fights, none of them would mean a thing.

Wake up, kids !

we've got the dreamers disease

Six minutes of indecision followed by the wrong decision. Or was it right? You never really know until all that you've done has become a memory you can look back on. There are no mistakes, only lessons, and every decision is a fork in the road, we can never escape the what if's maybe in a parallel universe, there would be no lies, no insecurities, nothing wrong at all. We'd all be happy and be free of heartache. We'd all love until our hearts give out and we'd know nothing of pain. But that would be boring, we'd never learn, we'd never have stories to tell.

In your head.

It's funny how you think you can trust a person. And when they blow it, you're left wondering if they were who you thought they were all along. Was I being lied to all those months? I simply cannot look past the pain. Trust is a fragile thing.

And illusions are a bitch.

The worst part is I still have hope, still have faith that things will get better and they will change and that there's still truth among other things. I don't want to taint the memories.

My eyes are swollen and I just want to lie in bed all day and feel sorry for myself. How do I learn to pick myself up from this? How do I learn to trust other people again? I've been faced with this issue so many times, maybe it's about time I fully accept that nobody can be trusted, no matter how often I try to see the light in them. Everyone on earth is evil and all you have is yourself.

On the windowsill of Jove's palace rests the urn of blessings and the urn of evil, two inevitable ingredients that spark and fizzle into a hundred fireworks, setting the navy canvas alight and spiraling smoke upwards into the heavens; born from the ashes is life.

Good and bad go hand in hand, and always have. They are the original contrasts that complement, without one, there is no other.

The past year has been eventful, to say the least. I haven't been writing as much as I wish I was, but this sudden wake to reality has turned me optimistic and alive and craving for some kind of creative output. I can splatter my empty spaces with cobalts, violets and aquamarines, I can prance around the room and spill with laughter, but too often does my memory replay the projections of change against the white walls of my eyelids, how things used to be so different, so gloomy and dark.

The death of my father initiated the long stretch of misery wherein I was practically dragging each day by the nails just to carry on, things were so difficult and there was no end in sight.

But today, I have a permanent smile of radiance etched into my face, and yes, I have noticed a pattern, where good and bad take separate turns to navigate this ship through misty waters, each taking their sweet time, causing me to adapt to the change in weather when one overtakes the other.

But for now, it's all smooth sailing, and I have another few months of these blessings to soak up.

Come what may, I am ready.