The World is Conspiring Against Me.

Hello readers, if there are any.
(It would be nice if you leave a comment so I know I'm no talking to myself)

Well some of you know I was meant to go to Malaysia. Here's how it went:
Flight day: I wake up early, it's Holy Thursday or something like that, we drive to Sctex, and BOOM, stuck in traffic for 4 hours. I was pannicking like hell because I didn't want to lose my trip to KL cause of stupid traffic, I was crying in the car because the countdown was drawing to an end and it didn't look like I would win. We got to the airport at 11:15? 30 minutes before the flight. I ran in, stepped on a black dudes foot, apologized, ran to the counter and got my ticket. I went to immigration, lined up, tried to ignore the pessimistic comments from the lady behind me, "were gonna miss the flight were gonna miss the flight were gonna miss the flight were gonna miss the flight" I felt like turning around and slapping her face. So it's my turn. The lady asks me the regular questions, I answer. Then she asks "Do you have clearance?" and I'm thinking "what the fuck is that?" but i keep quite and shake my head 'No'. She asks me to take a seat. A man in uniform starts talking to her, they are deep in conversation. My lower lip starts trembling, my fingers are crossed. The man tells me I can't go. I beg him. I tell him my mother's outside and he can talk to her. I cry, the passerbys stare, the PA system announces it's final call for flight AK 33, my flight. I cry some more. He talks to my mother, explains i need to go to the department of social welfare, and that my ticket and money spent on it is now forfeited, aka, useless. We head to our province which is nearby anyway.

Today, we went to the department in my province's town, we had to wait until after easter so that it'd be open. My mother called up my sister 2 days before and told her to book the ticket so it'd be cheaper, she does, thats 8,000 spent. We go to the department, and the lady presents us with the requirements: fucking stupid things like income tax payment documents, letters of invitation, accounts stating my parent's salary. And I'm supposed to get this my today? What the fuck. We try devise some plans, we decide I should just go to Malaysia another time, postpone the date. We pack up the car and drive back to Manila, researching the address of the Air Asia office, guess what? ITS IN FUCKING CLARK. So my mom and I decide we're sick of this. And I realise, I'm not going to Malaysia this year.

It's sad. It's my escape, I'm so sick of so many things I can't really say right now otherwise i might offend a lot of people, but I'm just so fucking sick. I cannot wait til I pack up and move away. I'm sick of the strict requirements, like YELLOW CLEARBOOKS. No yellow clearbook, no portfolio grade. How the fuck is that supposed to help me? You're just lowering my grade, Bitch!

I feel so lost, and small in such a big world where anyone can choose what happens to me. I feel like i have no control over things. I can fork out my money for something, and I can lose it all just as fast.