Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Blue Elephants in Plastic Cases.


What the fuck is wrong with me. I hate it when you think you're doing okay, then one small thing can make all your progress count for nothing. I seriously thought I was perfectly fine, or that I should be by now. But then I came across this photo and all old scars ripped open once again like eternal wounds. I keep asking myself if I'm over it, if I'm better, but I guess this proves that some things never heal. With people, I can bring up the topic easily, and I will not waver as long as I do not linger on the idea. I am blunt, I am light about it to avoid letting the heavy feeling sink in. But these sudden outbursts of sadness and the severe mood swings are obviously a manifestation of what I am too much of a coward to face. I will never be 100% better, I don't think. But maybe one day I will be able to fully accept it, and then I will stop running.

2 comments:

Lienne said...

If you're referring to something that I think you are, then I don't think you can ever 'get over' something like that. There will always be things that make you recoil in pain from the sadness. It's difficult to say when one will ever fully recover from such a blow but I guess, the best thing we can do is accept that the hole can never be filled and get on with our lives. It's totally normal, I'm sure everyone gets that once in a while :)

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