Maybe I’ve been watching too much Breaking Bad but all I can think of is that our relationship is like terminal cancer. We can try to buy as much time as we can, do what it takes to make it worthwhile in the meantime, but inevitably, it’s going to end. You’re going to go do your thing, and I’m going to do mine.
You can tell me as much as you’d like that I’m a factor in your decision. But it gets clearer each day that the more you learn about your opportunities elsewhere, the less of a factor I become. It hurts me terribly to think of the more realistic outcome should you be faced with a real opportunity that could launch your music career. The time, money, and passion you invested in music, the fact that it’s your biggest dream, and the pressure you feel to get the ball rolling … it makes no sense to lose that to a girl you’ve dated for a year or two. And I know that the only way I’d stay in the picture is if you could have both. But if you had to choose one, I know it wouldn’t be me. And I guess I make it easier by telling you that I wouldn’t want it to be me. Because I couldn’t be the thing standing in between you and your dream. And who knows, maybe we’ll break up before you even reach that crossroad. Maybe you wont have to choose at all.
(Thoughts at 2AM)