Sunday 15 July 2012

Impaired Vision



A deep inhale, the smoke filling my browning lungs and my nerves plateauing into a steady numb. A slow, practiced exhale of a stream of city smog, my contribution to our already grey skies. The after taste of bitter medication, my daily fix of cigarettes to clear my mind and block out my anger. Sometimes one stick a day, sometimes twelve in an hour. It depends.

A nervous bite of the lip along with a churning of the gut. Little goosebumps along my arms and an irritating strand of hair tickling my chin like a misplaced feather. Yellowed teeth tap dancing in my mouth- freezing from the cold. Feet hanging off the edge, butt hard from the concrete, eyes gazing out into the horizon of pollution.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

For something that may never come. It's my every-evening routine to come out here onto this bridge and watch the traffic ease over the ledges, looking for answers in the never-ending trail of lights and echoes of blowing horns.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Loved this one, but you've posted this before right?

Joanna said...

Yeah, it was about 4 or so posts back. I felt kind of bad that I didn't give it enough attention- there was no photograph, it was so short, etc. So I edited it a bit :)

Anonymous said...

Ohh... I thought I was just having a deja vu moment. I really liked this one. I find that it's very similar to my smoking habit. Hahaha. Also that one with the rooftop. I liked that one too. Your work is very amazing!

miriam said...

I love this one too!!! I enjoyed a lot the photograph that you added it too. :)
great stuff ...
can't wait to see more.

Joanna said...

To Anonymous: Hihi I'm not a smoker (or a lot of the other things I write about) so I'm glad I managed to capture that feeling, that's what I was going for :)

Miriam: Thank you! :) I update kinda slowly but I'm so glad people read this stuff.

Anonymous said...

Hey! Really sorry about bothering you with this, but I remember reading a piece you wrote and I can't remember the title of it. I can only remember a few things about it. I know there's a person, a candle, the feeling of loneliness, and there may or may not have been a book. Like in that HeyMonday song where the line goes like "blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight".

The general gist of the story has been stuck in the back of my head kinda like song lyrics from a song and you have no idea what song it's from, and it only gets more irritating coz you only remember that one line. I tried looking for it again but everything past 2011 seemed too personal for me to know so I stopped. So yeah, it would be really cool if you could help me out. :p

Joanna said...

Oh my god, you're so cute :)) I'm not so sure if I remember! The only thing I can somewhat think of to be possibly related to what you're looking for is a recent one: http://chasingvans.blogspot.com/2012/03/pain-adores-me-god-ignores-me.html

Anonymous said...

Oh god. That is the one I was looking for. I can't believe I missed it. Hahaha! Really embarrassed by the fact that it's a relatively recent one. At least now I'll have answers to give my brain when it nags me about that again. Just goes to show how your writing can leave a lasting impression. XD

Anyway, thanks for helping me find it! I'll keep quiet again forever now. :))

Joanna said...

Hahaha, no problem! At least you got the chance to read back? And watch my writing get worse and worse .... lol. Don't keep quiet!