Unravel.

He took one last look at the scene before him and shut his eyes to say goodbye. It was like closing the last page of a book, this volume was over and he would no longer let it haunt him. He turned on his heel and walked away, ignoring the desperate voices in the back of his head calling him to abandon his attempt to move on, urging him to turn around and break down into tears. He kept walking through the knee-high grass, past the weary trees and the wild flowers; he kept walking until he reached the rusty car he rented from the small store. The door swung open with a low groan, and he slid onto the old leather in silence. Shutting the door after him, he did not make another move. He simply sat and waited for the daze to clear, for the nerves to calm. The long stretch of road beckoned him, he knew there were other places to visit, other ghosts to bid farewell, but his shaking hands would not cooperate.

These streets will make you feel brand new.

The darkness forces me to use my sense of touch to see. Soft skin pulses as my hands run over you, your moist breath tickles my ear and silent whimpers escape my lips as they move closer to the indents of your neck. The heat in the pit of my chest knows no way out but this one. This time, the intoxication is a reason to act like a savage beast and to tear you apart with my teeth. My heart pounds against my flesh, my head spins and my body takes control. My lips find comfort against yours but my hands are still searching for a place to call home. Your nails dig into my back and groans escape like rusty car doors swinging open. My body fits against yours like the last piece of a puzzle, creating the perfect image of reckless youth.

It's such a rush.

A while back I used to be the type of person who would lay upon the guillotine to save my friendship. I'd stow my pride away and take fault even though I did nothing wrong. But I've changed. Now, I stand up for myself. I know that you can't trust anybody, and people, especially girls, are very sensitive. I was not surprised when two of my close friends bit me behind my back and complained about me to my other close friends. I was expecting it, actually, because when you spend every minute holding onto a person, you notice when they push you away.
And yeah, I'm sorry for dealing with it in such a harsh way, but that doesn't make it okay for you to say shit about me.
I just wish that it was easier to be open to people about flaws. Too many people take it way too seriously when you try to give them a little insight as to what's going wrong. However, real friends should be open when it comes to that, they should try to fix it. I think this has made me re-evaluate my friendship with certain people. If they're real or just a burden in my life.
I'm not saying I want to cut these people out of my life, I've had many good memories with them and they are important to me. I guess I just want to lessen the magnitude of their importance, of the time we spend together, of the degree of our friendship.

Help me soothe my worried looks.

The sun has barely found its place in the morning sky but excitement is shooting through my veins. The music, the messages, the expectations for the night which should not be there but linger and call on my attention from the back of my mind. Butterflies. Not normal ones, no. Black ones in worhsip of all things night-time, like alcohol, lust and cocaine.

Forget about everything I wrote in that last post.

The swirling and twirling of the beast in my gut,

crawling his way out through my eyes, smile,

crawling his way out through my laugh, my soul.

To escape into a world and grow into reality.