Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine.

I hate how you think that you're going to hurt me when it's me who has hurt so many, me who is traumatized by my last relationship, me who is held back by something I can't pinpoint. I don't know what's wrong. I know I like you, but I'm scared for you. I'm scared that this may be similar to what I did to one other. What if I just feel like I like you, then suddenly one day later, it all goes away, and I believe nothing was there to begin with in the first place? I feel warm when I think about you, but I rarely get the giddy butterflies. I don't know if that's because I've grown out of the giddy fan-girl stage, or if my body is trying to tell me what my head can't. I am so... I don't know. I am not confused. I am not wandering in the dark looking for answers. I am happy when you're around and everything feels so easy and real. I guess I just wish I could see what is going to happen in the future. But I can't, and that's life. Oh, I just thought of something. Maybe I'm afraid of feeling withered again. Maybe I know you're going to hurt me. Maybe I know, maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just being weird. Maybe I am scared after all.