Sunday, 27 July 2008

Scratched out; Erased.

You don't see me the same no more
It's hard to see the light through closing doors
Don't treat me like like I'm invisible
You talk with me, it's not the usual

Always taking the easy route
never wanting to work it out

Am I erased? Just a segment of your imagination?
I'm feeling replaced, like a faded picture where you can't see my face,
Scratched out, erased

In memory of what we used to call love,
I reminisce what used to be us, remember when,
when I was the most important to you.
But now I'm a ghost, the trust has died,
there's no way we can bring it back
We live a lie, no bars, no strings attached
Is this alright?
A part of me just wants you back

Can anybody see me, see me now?

I thought that maybe after all we went through, we'd still be close, turns out my own hope was just the subject of stupidity. I know it was me who did it, but I feel like I'm the one that's missing you, and as selfish as this may seem, is it supposed to be like that? If i really open up here, I'm scared that you'll see this, and you'll know how I'm feeling. Should i not be the one who is happy that I'm "free"? something is holding me back.
Honestly, it's like i want you to hurt, so i can be happy. Am i that selfish? That much of a sadist? No, i just want to feel that i meant something to you. And when you said that you stopped loving me, two days after we broke up, you'll never know how painful that was, for someone who wasn't supposed to care, i cared a lot. Why, though?
They tell me that I love you, but how can they be the ones to tell me my hearts whispers?
It's amazing how well the song applies to me, it's as if it can read right into my eyes, into my soul.
I feel erased, like I'm not anything to you. Like all that time meant nothing to you. The way you talk to me isn't as if you want to, but as if you feel as if you should. It's better now. But it was cold, distant. I guessed that maybe you were mad at me, or wanted a reason to be mad at me for what i did to you. A part of me wants you back, but then again, "I'm like a dog chasing a car,", i wouldn't know what to do with it once i catch it. You never took the easy route, you always thought that taking in all the blame and tension would just make things easier for us, when in reality it just made things worse. It made me feel like i blamed you for everything, made you feel that it was always your fault. In truth, you were one of the great ones. And i was really lucky. I guess you could ask me why i did it, if i was so lucky to have you? It's just the timing. Too many things went and didn't come back. Just one thing to ask of you, don't erase me, because enough tears fall just thinking that you have.


lienne said...

tht's a horrible feeling doode.
but you'll get over it, you're a tough cookie.
plus the poem was so good.
kudos :)

Joanna Superstuff said...

thanks but its all good now :P
plus, thats a song, not a poem.
i didnt write it :P

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