Sunday, 6 July 2008

"what a waste of time," the thought crossed my mind.

Can't explain this thing, or what I mean, I'm trying to let go.
CL knows how well i relate to these two lines.
Random stories which relate to how I feel.

What's your next move, little flame? The earth has pushed you on so far, and you have no more reason to hold on. You were once drawn to the earth, its caring fingertips tickling your whims. You were drawn to the earth, and fought so hard for it. And when you finally got a hold of the earth, you noticed the water beneath the surface. Each droplet taking you out, bit by bit. Those once sweet fingertips, now becoming mushy grips, holding onto you, giving you little room to shine your light. The earth turns to damp soil, dragging you down, so you distance yourself. You move back, and a part of you shines brighter than the rest.
Take a look back, your embers trail along the past, I can see the sadness in your eyes and the guilt you know you will experience if you stray too far from return. I know it hurts, but it takes sacrifice. You just need a reason to hold on.
I throw my words all around, but I cant, I cant give you a reason
Yellowcard sure as hell knows how it feels.
I know you have a difficult time trusting me. And that some little voice creeps up to the back of your mind, inhabits your thoughts and makes you doubt me. I know you think that I might do something against you, but have I? I trust you fully, yet you've hurt me so many more times than i have hurt you. This dark revelation pulls me towards towards our end, in this brutal tug of war. As Hamlet, I quote "To be, or not to be?", together, that is.
Love don't come so easily, this doesn't have to end in tragedy
This is bullshit! I'm not your property, okay? I dont need your permission on who i can hang out with or not, and if you happen to be uncomfortable with me hanging out with a guy, then jog on. I dont care if you say i'm "allowed", im not an object. I'm a person who happens to be very strong willed and determined, and if i dont like the way you treat me, then i'll just cut myself away from you. No, i wont get revenge, i just simply leave you alone. I find it weird that you're such a hypocrite. You and your female friends are "friendly" to the point it's questionable, and I just happen to have my arm on somebody's shoulder, and you get uncomfortable with it. Can somebody scream "Biased!" from the stands?

I remember those words which made me euphoric, only to crumble down the next day, when your insesitivity cut me open like a blunt knife.
I still forgave and accepted you.
I remember those words which made me cry when you said you had been thinking about us breaking up, all related to me being the problem.
It was valentines, the next day. Its a little disturbing to see another girl leaning on your shoulder.
I still forgave and went all out for you. It's a good thing I'm not the kind of person who expects to recieve when she has given.
I remember how you constricted me with your possessiveness. Flooding my freedom with your worry, pushing me further away.
That, i couldn't forget.
I remember how i read those sick messages in your inbox. You betrayed my trust, you sickened me to the bone.
I still forgave and trusted you.
I don't regret doing those things, I just dont know if I'm deserving of these current circumstances in my life. I don't know if you're worth holding onto.

Another head aches. Another heart breaks

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

heeeyyyy! i dont usually do this kind of thing, but here it goes. :)

i hope everything turns out well. just make sure you'll decide on something that you wont regret. 'kay?

peace out (wink wink!!)

lots love, regg