Tuesday, 2 March 2010

I've got sunshine in a bag.

Feeling like I'm not good enough.

A bitter and slightly sour taste.
Wrath. Envy. Pride.
All mixed into one.
Lingering in my mouth since the first daybreak.

I wish you could be supportive. What you do, whether it be unintentional or not, hurts. It makes me feel like I can't do things because if you can't even stand behind me on this, then who else would? What is it that's wrong with me? Why is it that other people believe more in me than you do? Why does the authentic surprise wash over your face when I tell you something I'm proud of? Why is there the expected skeptical cock of the eyebrow every time I tell you one of my goals? Why is there always some kind of comment, sharp as a knife ripping through me? Why can't you just smile with the truth in your eyes and tell me something I want to hear, for once? All I want to be to you is good enough. I am so much better than what you have experienced in the past. I am so much better than so many others out there. Why can't you see that?