Show me a garden thats bursting into life.
Have you ever wanted to leave everything behind, and run away to somewhere new? Run away to a place where nobody knows who you are, a place where you can start over and change every little flaw you hate about yourself? Its like a second chance, right?
I got that "second chance". But i didn't take it. Sure, i left the place where i grew up, i left the friends i grew up with, i left the sights and sounds i was familiar with. Everything around me changed, the people, the language, the religions, the traditions, the ethics, the trends.. Everything. But not me.
Cause the fact that i had left that place i call home was what made me want to stay the same. I am the closest thing to that place i miss so much. And once i change who i am, i'd probably be almost completely cut off from that place.
But that's not all.
Sure, i get tempted, to "change who i am", "start over", "rewind". But I dont see the point in it. What're you gonna do? Change everything you grew up believing in, everything you grew up knowing? Everything you grew up being. It doesn't sound worth it. The people we surround ourselves with feel a certain way about us because we are who we are. And once you change who you are, you're gonna lose them. They'll have to change all their personal feelings for you, once you start over, the opinions start over. The relationships start over.
Sometimes we can't stand who we are, we hate what we see in the mirror. But there are people out there who love that very image. But i know, that when you hate yourself, the only people keeping you hanging on are the people which love you. The people which soften every sharp corner. And to lose them, just to try start over.. leaves you ending up with nobody knowing you. And losing the people you love, for that, just doesn't seem worth it.