I feel empty. Not the same depression I once had a few weeks ago, just... emptiness. It's like there's no more joy, no more centre that lightens up my world and makes everything meaningful. I don't know what is was before, but it's gone now.
I dread school. All I want is to get through the day on super-speed, make it flash by. I can't bring myself to focus, or to understand. It makes me feel so stupid, like there's a brick wall resisting my urges to break through.
I'm happy when I'm out of the house, with friends. I feel like I'm actually living this life I've been given.
It could be him speaking around me. It probably is. Signs pointing to that direction, above. I have told myself how many times it has been a reason for existence. But I've never been able to wrap my head around it. And I'm not so sure it is the centre I am looking for.