Wednesday, 4 March 2009

2: Taking What isn't Yours isn't Always a Crime.


Caretaker ran as fast as her chubby legs could take her to the front porch, desperate to catch the commotion before it had ended, but a voice had called for her from the courtyard.

"Hello? Is anybody here?"

Caretaker wiped her hands on her grimy apron, squeezed through the door, and noticed the guest. It was the lady from the long limousine out front.

"How may I help you" Caretaker asked, as gracefully as she could, in hopes of impressing the woman.

"What a foolish question. Is this not where one comes to adopt a child?" she snapped.

Caretaker blushed a bright red, she hated being told what to do or that she was wrong and normally she would put up a fight, but this lady had some kind of charm over her, and Caretaker remained silent.

"Look at me," she continued, "My name is Victoria Joadson, you have probably heard of me. I have more riches than I could ever need, and my beauty is certainly heavenly. I have everything my heart desires, except for a daughter. Wouldn't you be as kind enough to bless me with one?"

Caretaker curtsied for Victoria, and called for the children.

"ORPHANS!" She hollered.


Stephanie walked down the staircase, she had been in The Orphanage all her life and was sick of the rejection it offered. She stood beside a little boy who had snot running down his upper lip and waited for the lady to take her pick then leave with the lucky child who would probably not be her. She always used to be turned down because of her past, but when she grew old enough to be called a young lady, it was because of a different reason: nobody wants to adopt a pretty girl who could simply get herself into all kinds of trouble, or run away and marry her lover. But on this day, she couldn't let go of that little droplet of hope as the guest eyed and rejected one child after another.

Victoria looked across the courtyard, and caught Stephanie's eye. The hairs on the back of Stephanie's neck rose as Victoria widened her eyes and bared her teeth, producing what looked like a hungry, sick smile. Stephanie turned away and looked at the pebblestone ground, secretly hoping the guest would be interested in her. The closest thing she had to a mother was Caretaker, who treated her cat with more love than the orphans. Victoria walked towards Stephanie, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"My, you're quite a pretty one."

"No, miss, I'm not! You, however.. You're the prettiest woman I've ever seen.." Stephanie blushed, ashamed of her awkward reply. Victoria laughed like chiming bells, even the sounds she made were beautiful. She looked at Stephanie in a longing way, and said

"You are adorable and I've wanted a child for so long... I think that maybe you.. you are the right match for me.. and I would love for you to be my daughter."
A surprised Stephanie threw her arms around Victoria, hugging the breath out of her and promising to be the best child she could be, but as she made her claims, she caught a look of pure hatred in Victoria's eyes.
Several questions made their way into her mouth, but not wanting to ruin the moment.

She said nothing.

4 comments:

monn said...

THAT'S NOT FAIR.
YOU DON'T START WRITING A FECKIN STORY LIKE THAT AND NOT WRITE A NOVEL! DAMNIT WOMAN. it's like reading this absolutely great beginning to a book, then having to be dragged away leaving you no chance to look at the title and buy this fantastic book.
RETARD.

it's great: BUT one thinggg...the end bit kinda happened a little fast and rusheedd. slow it down? with descriptions or something i don't know...
but you know i love it.

Joanna said...

I know what you mean :(
Suggestions?

monn said...

Like maybe describe her thoughts bout the woman coming over, or something like that. Her heart racing, feeling surreal that kinda thing.

Joanna said...

okay I changed it a bit, but not that much. is it okay now? Im not bothered to edit :(