Oh, it's what you do to me.

Did you bring your cigarettes?
Yes. Did you bring your good mood?

My parent’s conversation in the car as we went out. We didn't really know what we were going to do but we didn't want to stay at home. I wore a purple polo and black shorts along with about a million bracelets on each hand. We ended up going to Highstreet and my mom needed to buy groceries so we went to Market Market, and I found the FCUK perfume I've been dying to get for two years, but my evil mother enjoys my misery so she didn't get it for me. It was 50% off! Wtf. I'm going to tempt her with an offer that includes me paying 50% of it. She better give in. Or else.

I was pissed off, and my dad was as well, for other reasons, so we went to Fully Booked and browsed through the thousands of books in the freezing cold. My dad was surprised that they actually had some good books, well duh, it has 5 different floors, there’s bound to be something. I bought Time Magazine (so intellectual! Har har) and it has articles on the 100 most influential people, written by influential people. :)

We went to Starbucks and had this awesome brownie! It was marveloso! Chocolate and walnutty goodness. *Like candy canes at Christmassss* Ah. And he had a caramel macchiato and I had a mocha frap. Mom met us there and we sat for a while talking about me & my sisters and our different approaches to things, I came to the conclusion that Jayne’s the most artistic (no surprise there), Stephanie was the sportiest and easily still could be, and she’s also the best at puzzles and things, and I am the most perfect. Har har, I kid. No, I’m the most all-rounded but I’m also creative + logical (can you say perfect? Yes, you can)

Then we went to New Orleans, which is so cute, as you can see. The light on the ceiling is basically a chandelier kinda thing made out of drum cymbals! And there was a pianist, bassist and singer there. T’was nice because the atmosphere was chilled and people were laughing and clapping after the lady sang, which is far better than those restaurants where everyone is quiet and nobody pays attention to the singer. I didn’t take pictures of the food but we had Clam Chowder, BLT Salad & Ribs. Ahh, the ribs were so good. I recommend that place. It’s right beside Clawdaddy’s and Von Dutch @ Bonifacio Highstreet. The servings are large and decently priced, too.

Okay I’ll sign off now, this is getting long.
So long and farewell, good blog readers!
Big Kisses

Afternoons

Baby lets run away to Cuba,

you can smoke cigars,

and I can dance the night away,

we can wake up to the smell

of rusty cars and spanish food,

tangled in our sheets,

what do you say?

I got home a couple of hours ago. I went to Greenbelt with my parents since my dad felt like going out. We went to this charming Cuban restaurant called Cafe Havana, I wish I had my camera so I could take a picture, but I didn't. We ate and talked about cigars, then I had to run off to find the others because the movie was starting in a few.

It was so good to see Jerrell, Cuenca, Aljohn, Ramon, Carina and Bianca again. Haven't seen them in so long, and they said I got darker (YAY!). We watched a film called House which was some lame horror flick. It was about a couple who got in a car accident so they trek back to civilization in the middle of the storm, they find a Bed & Breakfast and it just goes all weird. The house isn't haunted, but it manifests your sins and fears, so yeah.

Anyway afterwards we went to Timezone (this arcade) and spent Aljohns money on games. I lost to Carina in racing, then we played that game where you have to shoot as many hoops? Well the deal was the winner gets a kiss from each of the losers, and guess what? Aljohn won : So Carina, Bianca & I gave him a kiss on the cheek each. Then we played air hockey and it was so much fun, I was with Aljohn, Cuenca and Jerrell were a team, and we were whooping and laughing so loudly it was so much fun, we were losing like, 5-2 BUT WE CAME BACK! And the final score was 6-6 :D

Then I met back up with my parents and we drove home through the rain and traffic and talked about music and blogs. :)


How do your parents feel about blogs?

Lime-green Lighters

I just have to say that the weather over here in Manila is the weirdest thing ever. At least back when I lived in Malaysia, the weather was consistent. There would be days of pouring rain, then it would lighten to a drizzle, then become cloudy, then the sun would peek out, then it would really hot. This would happen over a span of days. But this morning I woke up to thunder, and when I looked outside, it was sunny! What the flabbergast! My mom said it drizzled a bit earlier, but there's no evidence of that. And the middle of the sky is grey and heavy while the sides are bright blue. So strange. Make up your mind, Manila skies.

OKAY, now that's over, sorry that I haven't blogged in ages, guys. I just got back from my mothers province... farawar among the rice fields and farmers and stuff. It was alright, there was a fiesta so there was a lot of food + people. And my aunt has an xbox with all these games so I was playing that most of the time. But I'm back now and as excited to blog as ever!

I'm going out later, around 4pm to catch up with Jerrell and a few others. I don't what we're going to do, I haven't been to the mall in ages and it's not actually that appealing. But I miss those guys so I'm up for it.

You know what? A lot of the time I happen to think that I'm ready to take on stuff, but when it actually happens I feel so small and lost unless I've done it once before. I feel pretty mature for my age, I mean, when my mother isn't around I'm the one who does the groceries and pays the bills and sometimes cooks. I just feel like I'm pretty responsible. But it's annoying that others don't see that. It's always "Oh you're 16 you're supposed to be responsible" but what 16 year old is expected to do that kinda stuff : It's kinda hard because my sisters still live in Malaysia and I guess I get most of the responsibility. I just feel like the responsibility doesn't get me the freedom I deserve. Shouldn't freedom come with responsibility? I should be allowed to go out in the evenings, but yet I can't because of one mistake I made A YEAR AGO!!! Sighhh : Mothers are so paranoid.

One last thing, there's this guy, Mr. Fettucini, I'm not looking for anything complicated in my life, and I know he isn't either. But I'm kind of into him and he drops signs, too, or so I think he does. I DON'T want another boyfriend, dear God that's the last thing I want, but I do want somebody I can be into, you know? I miss the butterflies and the retarded happiness. But the thing with him is that he thinks he can see right through me and he thinks he's so cool and collected. What say you about me shaking him up a bit? I'm gonna confuse him `til his brain is mush.

PEACE OUT MY LOVELY READERS.

BIG KISSES.

Goodbye friends & blog readers!

Toothpaste Kisses & Heart-Shaped Bruises

So I wrote a new passage for my Stephanie Story and I really like it, but the notebook is in the other room so I can't really be bothered to go and type it up. I will maybe when I finish the whole story? Or when the notebook happens to be beside the PC. Anyway, I took a video of myself writing because I wanted to see how I am, usually I'm pretty blind when it comes to myself. I just have to say: I AM SUCH A RETARD!!! You'll see what I mean when you watch the vid.

So yesterday I went to Merville to hang out with Cami and Gia since it's been forever. Gia came over at 7AM. : SEVEN. When the world is still asleep. But anyway, my neighbours maid gave her this look of death which kind of read as "who is this unknown tresspasser?!" Twas Freaky.

So we watched Aus. Next Top Model and laughed at the Australian humour, and around 12.30 we went to Cami's. We played some ps2 games and Guitar Hero (which i epically suck at) I went online and watched them play. Then we went swimming at Miggo's house, went back to Cami's and watched Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, then we had dinner and played hotel 626! Cami sent us back to my place :) I love those girls so much.

YOUR LIGHT IS ULTRAVIOLET.

Dancing for the world to see.

Standing in the eye of a whirl pool,

carried here by my flourescent balloons,

voice squeaky with helium and high.

Nothing driving my creativity,

no passion bursting with ravens

taking flight and screaming into the sky.

Waters lapping fiercly around my waist,

ruby shoes drowning underneath,

box of delights in my hand.

Music hanging from my earlobes,

teeth pulling apart my lips,

dangerous content, to be rocked

by strange ecstasy.

That was a weird entry. Images flashed in my head, words slipped out of my mouth.

I can make you Ice Cream, we can be a Sweet Team.

Summer passes without sand caught in my undies, the sea beneath my toes, ice cream dripping down my fingers or sandcastles knocked down by the shore.
Summer passes without the culture of a foreign land, no strange faces by the road. No unusual food or customs, no pristine hotel rooms.
Summer passes without the late night fun, no artificial lights under the dimmed stars, no drinks that swirl inside your head and no music that taps your toes.
Summer passes without the girly sleepovers, no popcorn infront of the tv, no messy manicures or giggles way past midnight.

School starts on June 8th, and I don't really know how to feel about that. Most of you know I don't like my school, I hate the way they teach, I hate that they emply teachers who are young enough to be our siblings, I hate how they neglect the arts, this list goes on. I haven't missed school this summer, which is good because that means I didn't get bored even when lazing around at home. I'm excited for the new subjects we're going to take on (World lit and history, final-fucking-ly. Takes forever for this school to get started) and I have passion for things when I'm at school. My writing is always better, and I get to act, due to my club, which I am now president of :) And much more. I just wish summer was more eventful. I hate letting my days pass by like they do, no thrill of new things. I'm always craving for adventure, but I never seem to go out and grasp it. Too many things hinder my chance of exploration, but half of these things are probably inside my head.

I've been water colouring and sketching more, lately. I still suck, though :(

Happy Mothers Day

I'm seven years old again and I wake up, my mother isn't in sight. I'm disappointed, like an old woman who missed her favourite television show. I know she won't be back for a while, why didnt she wake me up? I usually go everywhere with her, and make sure she kisses me goodbye if I dont. I walk downstairs, the house is quiet, no older sister, no parents. Just me and the maid, who's too busy to be any good company. I look through through the staircase handling, into the living room embossed in gold light. Christmas tree on one end, sparkling blue and silver; Piano untouched and silent; Couches unwrinkled and puffy. Through the sliding doors you can see the garden, it looks lonely. My dog engrossed in his dream, he kicks a little, then stays still once again. I stand on the landing, unmoving, charmed by the surreal atmosphere my usually hectic house is in. I miss my mother. I walk over to the telephone, repeating her cellphone number in my head, pick up the reciever and poise my hand, ready to dial. I catch a whiff, Chanel No. 5 on the phone. It's my mothers perfume, and the familiarity of it is enough to ease my impatience. I feel her close to me, her arms around me and her perfume surrounding my world.

I put the telephone back down and decide I can wait until she gets home.

After that day, I escaped to the small, scented world of the telephone reciever whenever I missed my mother. It was enough to temporarily bring her back to my side.

Happy mothers day, mom. Although you have no idea I'm writing this, and you actually just told me to get off the computer. I love you!

Joanna

Fuzzy Carpets + Polaroids

In reply to the comments posted on my previous blog, I just want to clear things up.
I do love comments, I really do :) And by saying I was advised against the states and England, I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with it. For one, my mother doesn't want me to move too far away (don't they all?) and more than one person has told me about the depressing English weather. Second, my Father doesn't really want me to go to the states because, well, he's British and I guess he just doesn't like America or whatever. But I have still looked at universities everywhere, and another thing advising me against the both of them are the entry requirements. Here in the Phils we don't take SATs or "A" Levels, so it would be quite difficult completing them of finding an equivalent.
Just wanted to clear things up, it's not a personal dislike, seriously.

Kookoo Kachoo

Another creative moment! Decided to make a mini magazine! I'm going to play the roll of the editor, the writer, the photographer, the model & the layout director!

Topic ideas greatly wanted!

I have also been spending my evening looking for Universities. I've been advised against the US so now I'm looking at France and Spain.

C'est ma vie.

So here I am, sitting on a green plastic chair which numbs my butt, electric fan making my messy hair even messier and taskbar blinking away at my recieved messages. Teen vogue sits on my lap, obedient and waiting to be flipped through.

I'm not a Teen Vogue collector, sorry. I find it too serious for a teens magazine. I want to be able to relate to the girls I see on the glossy pages, envy them a little bit, think that I should be in there too! But with Teen Vogue, I don't even know what to think. The girls look too unreal, like Barbie brought to life. I don't envy them, I just wonder how much make up has been put on them, and how much photo-shopping has been done.

If I had it my way, I'd take out 50% of the adverts in Teen Vogue, and I'd replace them with articles. I'm pretty sure they've employed enough writers, so they can put them to work. I don't get the point of having too many adverts and nothing to read. You want a magazine you can go back to again and again. Oh, but I do love the perfume adverts with the little sticky side pockets which you peel back to smell the scent! Makes the magazine smell like a perfume store! Yes, Teen Vogue would win the award for Best-Smelling Teens Magazine.

When I think of Teen Vogue, I think of sophisticated socialite teens from New York or California. You know, those rich spoilt brats who indulge in every temptation in the book and still look amazingly flawless while doing so? Yeah. Teen Vogue does capture that essence, with all the expensive clothing and alien-like models, so kudos to them for that.

Anyway, it's sitting on my lap because, once again, I was thinking about University and my future career. I was advised not to go to England for Uni, so I'm thinking about Aus or America. Also since I'm more familiar with American media, it'd be easier than having to understand a whole new style.

Most of you know that I'm not the kind of person who would want to write about fashion or celebrities and stuff like that, it's just not me. There are enough people writing about that kind of stuff, and I was to keep it real. If I had the opportunity, I would dive in to work for a magazine that features REGULAR people, features people who don't get enough attention, people who do so much more than wear "In Season" clothes, or act in a film. Things like National Geographic, or as I read in Teen Vogue, Me Magazine.

"Me magazine is all about showcasing gifted people in creative fields who might not be getting the recognition I think they deserve. Each issue spotlights one person who acts as the guest editor. They curate the content of the magazine and choose a group of friends to focus on, who act as contributors. From start to finish, each issue takes about three months to make."

I want to do that. Spotlight people who deserve it and dont get enough limelight.
But I've gone on long enough, time to get back to those blinking instant messages, and my unanswered emails.

Ive got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

I wrote a song about my recent events. :P

Was supposed to go to Tali Beach yesterday (hey hey hey)

But the rain was stormin' so my momma said No Way,

I kicked up a fuss and made her let me go,

she said if there's no rain, then you can tomorrow (oh oh oh)

Rain was pourin' and it wouldn't stop (No, no)

So I decided there's no point, I'm just outta luck,

Told my hosts that I wouldn't show,

then I wake up today and whatdya know?

The sun is shinin' and the sky is blue,

through the cur'ains, heat is passin' through,

murphy's law is so unfair,

it bites when you dont want it there (yeah yeah!)

so then my momma tried to give me hope

"well go beachin' this weekend, if you wanna go" (oooh ooooh)

so i jumped on the net and looked for places

where we can chill and tan our faces (shooba dooba)

But then i start realising it was gettin' cooler

i look outside and the clouds are fuller

they're getting grey and the wind's comin' around

just to think i thought the storm had left this town (oohh la la la, oooh la la la)

Okay that's all i have so far. No chorus yet. :P HAHAH okay I made that up on the spot. Not bad!
So yeah, that song has described my day. It was such a gorgeous day today. But Now i see grey clouds coming through :( I wanna go to the beach! PLEASE.

Shake Well before Drinking

New blog layout!

I know how I've been saying I needed to get a new layout, refresh the page a bit. This one's a big more ME, and it isn't dark and scary, I feel good about it :)

I'm off to Tali tomorrow, which is a beach for those who don't know. Gio says were going even if a tsunami hits, ahha. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also worried I'm gonna be left out cause all the girls will have their boys, and the rest are Gio and his friends. :/

Will update my little blog world after I get back.

WOOHOO.

xx, pray that I get a tan!

Snickerdoodles.

I don't know why I'm such a competitive person. I always want to be, if not the best, then one of the better ones. I want to be recognized when it comes to what I do. When I see amazing work done by others in fields that I am also interested in, yet I cannot compete with, I feel bad. I want to be just as good, even if I'm only 16 and that person is a 40 year old with 20 years of experience and a degree.

I've been leaning towards magazine journalism for a while now. It's one of the more stable career choices I have chosen, unlike acting. I thought that it was a pretty decent choice as I would love to broadcast interests and empower my audience through glossy pages and bright pictures. But I have been disheartened. Multiple replies on Yahoo! Answers has left me feeling like it is not a good choice, that I will be led astray with this degree, wasting my time and money.

I am confused. You might decide to say: You're only 16, you have plenty of time! But do I really? I have two more years of high school, studying away (which I do not do) so I get grades good enough for the University of my choice. After those 2 years are up, I'm expected to have my decision. But will I ever really know? Kids like myself are planning their future with every decision, trying to set it in stone. I have the idea that one failed subject will prevent me from getting into University, therefore ruining my chances of a decent job, and therefore ruining my life. In other words, Failed Grade = End of Life.

Going back to my previous question, will I ever really know? Will we ever really know? We all get those moments of clear understanding, where we know what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We may decide at the age of 6 that we want to be a Police Officer, but ask the departments filled with cops who take bribes, ask them if that was what they were expecting. Many people decide to go for the power jobs: Lawyers, Doctors, "Business Men". But after a while, they end up wishing they had done something like photography, or music.

It all goes down to getting a job that will provide your family, not what you dream of doing, they say. Get the degree that will land you a job, then go back and get the degree you actually wanted. But who actually ends up going back?

Undergo this Operation

Adobe Photoshop CS3 was staring at me in the eye, pure hatred radiating from his. He looked betrayed, as if no person had ever hit his ego this hard.
"You've chosen me ever since we were young, Joanna," he said. I choked on my words, what was I supposed to say?
"You're so complicated now. I don't know what to do. It used to be simple with you, but I guess times have changed,"
"We all change!" He yelled. I nodded, it was true, but I couldn't be around people who made life harder.
"I'm sorry," I said. I turned around to face Picnik, so simple and fun, bringing back all the vain joy to my photo-editing.
I took his hand, and walked down the road. Not bothering to look back at Adobe.

So Yani posted the link to this photo-editing sight on her blog, and YAY! It's so easy to use and super cool, too!

When that moon gets big and bright, it's supernatural delight.

Here's my list of things to do before Summer ends. I have about a month left, and nothing amazing has happened, which is really gay. I need some spontaneity, people! I was looking forwards to taking football classes with Gia, but she can't anymore so that's scratched out :(
Okay, here's my personal summer wish-list:

MRT Adventures: a group of us are gonna take the electric train (MRT) and get off at random spots, explore, get back on and just go all over the place. I'm really excited for this, which explains why it's number one. :D

Go to a beach! Hell yeah! I need the sand and salt water and sun like a diabetic needs insulin shots

Group dinner + night movie. I love going to the cinema at night, when the malls aren't crowded and stores are closing. Plus, I want to have a dinner where we can look nice :)

BBQ! I talked to Darren about this a second ago and we're gonna have a bbq at his place, yay!

Go to Baguio. I'm gonna ask my mom about this :D I've never been, but I wouldn't mind some cold weather and cheap clothes :P

Ride a horse. YES! YES! PLEASE!

Go out for a whole day. From 8am-12am. Just doing whatever it takes to make the day go by.

Just HANG OUT. As in no activities, just simply sit & talk, wherever.

PAINTBALL & Laser Tag! Yes. I just hope we dont get ripped off like the guys did, last time. Laser Tag will be my fall back.

Make another episode of Joey & Cameron! We have a youtube video, search "Joey and Cameron" it's actually really funny :) I wont ruin the surprise.

YAY I've got a list of 10! I'm so excited to finish this list now! Okay, I'm going to update what happened every time I complete one of these numbers. Watch our for updates, lovely readers!

BIG KISS FROM THE HAPPY HIPPIE.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

Beloved readers of this blog.

I was just answering a favourite 5 survey on facebook (you can add me, just leave a comment asking for my deets) and the topic was "5 Movies that made you Cry" It really got me thinking but after a long time, I've decided these are a few that do the trick (i had to add one more, heehee):

1. The Notebook
2. Titanic
3. What Dreams May Come
4. P.S. I Love You
5. Rent
6. Riding in Cars with boys

There are times I just feel like crying, I wanna curl up with some Ben & Jerry's and a nice pillow, and bawl my eyes out. I know I can rely on these 5 to satisfy me in that way, hahaha. Anyway, I'm not going to tell you which parts made me cry, I want you to watch these movies yourself when you feel like you need to cry, too.

And I would love you to reply this post with 5 movies that made YOU cry :)

You see, My world is Different.

Find a voice, a personality, something that is distinctly you. And channel that originality into something you can show the world. Whether it be ink on the edge of needles, fabric in different shades and touch, images you capture behind a hard lens, or even just the things you do.

I haven't really been one interested in tattoos, although my sister has 5 (yeah, she's a walking canvas). And when it comes to fashion, I usually just wear what I feel like on the day. I dress up according to my attitude. I've never really had a particular style, if I think it looks good on me, I'll buy it (btw today I bought this drapey purple top, and Teen Vogue, because I wanted to treat myself to something nice). Behind the lens, I love to capture things as they happen. Someone laughing, or an old man just sitting by himself, thinking. I don't like it when people pose, beause it doesn't really show any emotion :/ (and I have 60 days left to collect my photos, which I will do as soon as I go out.)

Oh, and Darren & I have decided to go out one day and have "MRT Adventures", doesn't that sound rad?! We're gonna meet up somewhere, go to an MRT port and take the train! We'll get off wherever we feel like it, and it'll be totally spontaneous. I'm uber excited about that because I want to explore this place. I feel like I've only seen the surface of Manila, and something is telling me it has a lot more to offer. :)

Anyway, I have to sign off to make din din for my family, I'm suchan angel :D
Chicken Alfedo coming up up up!

Big Kiss

Massacre Blues

Pay no attention to the title, it popped up in my head earlier and I like the ring to it.

So last night, I decided to curl my hair with the iron, while watching 90210 on dvd. The way Annie and Naomi do their hair fascinates me. It's always perfectly curled and stuff, like whoah. So I wanted to try and I had it on high heat (which is deadly dangerous, I burnt my forehead once : ) anyway, I was curling curling away, and most people who use curling irons know that it kinda melts your hair into place, and makes your hair smell like a burning rubber factory or something like that. So I decided I'd just wash away the stink when I wake up. So I just took a shower, and guess what? MY HAIR STILL STINKS! It smells like a car that skidded on hot asphalt and its wheels are flaming up. Ugh! I shampooed it and everything but it still smells so bad :( I jsut hope I havent melted my hair or anything, I used to do that to my Barbies, and if my hair happens to turn out how Travel Agent Barbie's hair did, I will scream until my voice box shatters.

Ugh, can't ever how bad my hair smells. SMELLS LIKE CRAP.
Anyway, am off to SM to go buy some stuff and I'm thinking about making dinner tonight, pasta and salad :/ Yes, I should remind my parents why they're so lucky to have me. And while I'm there I'm going to hopefully get lucky and find a high waisted skirt! Haha, I really want one. Anyway, yeah. I'm out :)

PEACE.

Not for Unicorns

Image from here.

Today was the millionth chilled day I've spent at home this summer. I watched a bit of Australias Next Top Model, I read a bit of Shakespeares 'The Taming of the Shrew', and then I went online for about 5 hours. I talked to my best friend about stuff, I always enjoy talking to her because she's like a rock. She keeps me grounded and it's really comfortable being around someone you've known for so long. (enter harmonious music. Haha kidding)

Even though I didn't do much, I managed to save myself from the aggressive strangles of a reality many face each day, which is very heroic of me :D Haha, I saved myself from boredom! I actually dont get bored because I know this is better than being at school :)

Hopefully going to go pick up my film tomorrow! Hopefully. If things push through. Which I hope they do. If not, I hope Cami can come out so we can go to Glorietta together. I don't care if we just end up sitting in Starbucks talking for a long time, I just have to go to get my film and stuff.

Anyway, a happy weekend to all. May it be filled with things you want to do, whether it be finishing a book (I finished Angels & Demons, btw, stellar stuff.) or getting a piggyback ride from a Mexican migdet, you go have fun.

Lots of love and big kisses!

Lovers in Rome

YES, PLEASE.