Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Lime-green Lighters

I just have to say that the weather over here in Manila is the weirdest thing ever. At least back when I lived in Malaysia, the weather was consistent. There would be days of pouring rain, then it would lighten to a drizzle, then become cloudy, then the sun would peek out, then it would really hot. This would happen over a span of days. But this morning I woke up to thunder, and when I looked outside, it was sunny! What the flabbergast! My mom said it drizzled a bit earlier, but there's no evidence of that. And the middle of the sky is grey and heavy while the sides are bright blue. So strange. Make up your mind, Manila skies.

OKAY, now that's over, sorry that I haven't blogged in ages, guys. I just got back from my mothers province... farawar among the rice fields and farmers and stuff. It was alright, there was a fiesta so there was a lot of food + people. And my aunt has an xbox with all these games so I was playing that most of the time. But I'm back now and as excited to blog as ever!

I'm going out later, around 4pm to catch up with Jerrell and a few others. I don't what we're going to do, I haven't been to the mall in ages and it's not actually that appealing. But I miss those guys so I'm up for it.

You know what? A lot of the time I happen to think that I'm ready to take on stuff, but when it actually happens I feel so small and lost unless I've done it once before. I feel pretty mature for my age, I mean, when my mother isn't around I'm the one who does the groceries and pays the bills and sometimes cooks. I just feel like I'm pretty responsible. But it's annoying that others don't see that. It's always "Oh you're 16 you're supposed to be responsible" but what 16 year old is expected to do that kinda stuff : It's kinda hard because my sisters still live in Malaysia and I guess I get most of the responsibility. I just feel like the responsibility doesn't get me the freedom I deserve. Shouldn't freedom come with responsibility? I should be allowed to go out in the evenings, but yet I can't because of one mistake I made A YEAR AGO!!! Sighhh : Mothers are so paranoid.

One last thing, there's this guy, Mr. Fettucini, I'm not looking for anything complicated in my life, and I know he isn't either. But I'm kind of into him and he drops signs, too, or so I think he does. I DON'T want another boyfriend, dear God that's the last thing I want, but I do want somebody I can be into, you know? I miss the butterflies and the retarded happiness. But the thing with him is that he thinks he can see right through me and he thinks he's so cool and collected. What say you about me shaking him up a bit? I'm gonna confuse him `til his brain is mush.
Goodbye friends & blog readers!


monn said...

My my,
you seem quite hellbent on enjoying your last two weeks of summer in the form of torturing poor Mr. Fettucini.
What a lovely child you are.

You're a teenager - mothers will sometimes think that you're sleeping with a wannabe rock group, injecting heroin into your eyeballs and waiting to jump on top or in front of moving cars.
...or maybe that's my mother...

miriam said...

i soo totally get your last paragraph missing the butterfly's and all.
i miss them too. its been such a while that i am not into any guy at all. and idk iff that's good or not.
but i luv the idea that you will mess with him

YANI said...

wow you pay the bills and do the groceries alone? awesome!
i think i can do that its just that my mom doesnt trust that i CAN. so yeah!
Moms can be really really paranoid and it can be really really annoying sometimes

Hahaha! nice name eh? Mr.Fettucini!

Lienne said...