Monday, 4 May 2009


I don't know why I'm such a competitive person. I always want to be, if not the best, then one of the better ones. I want to be recognized when it comes to what I do. When I see amazing work done by others in fields that I am also interested in, yet I cannot compete with, I feel bad. I want to be just as good, even if I'm only 16 and that person is a 40 year old with 20 years of experience and a degree.
I've been leaning towards magazine journalism for a while now. It's one of the more stable career choices I have chosen, unlike acting. I thought that it was a pretty decent choice as I would love to broadcast interests and empower my audience through glossy pages and bright pictures. But I have been disheartened. Multiple replies on Yahoo! Answers has left me feeling like it is not a good choice, that I will be led astray with this degree, wasting my time and money.
I am confused. You might decide to say: You're only 16, you have plenty of time! But do I really? I have two more years of high school, studying away (which I do not do) so I get grades good enough for the University of my choice. After those 2 years are up, I'm expected to have my decision. But will I ever really know? Kids like myself are planning their future with every decision, trying to set it in stone. I have the idea that one failed subject will prevent me from getting into University, therefore ruining my chances of a decent job, and therefore ruining my life. In other words, Failed Grade = End of Life.
Going back to my previous question, will I ever really know? Will we ever really know? We all get those moments of clear understanding, where we know what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We may decide at the age of 6 that we want to be a Police Officer, but ask the departments filled with cops who take bribes, ask them if that was what they were expecting. Many people decide to go for the power jobs: Lawyers, Doctors, "Business Men". But after a while, they end up wishing they had done something like photography, or music.
It all goes down to getting a job that will provide your family, not what you dream of doing, they say. Get the degree that will land you a job, then go back and get the degree you actually wanted. But who actually ends up going back?


raphaeldumonte said...

That's very true, Joanna. But if you remember what I said about working / jobs in our THE class? Choose the job that you will enjoy working on, because that's what you're going to stick with throughout your career. You enjoying it will make it more pleasant for you, and since you are enjoying your work while you persevere to be better, things should fall into place.

As one of my greatest idols once said, "If you choose a job that you do not like, then you will have to work 3x more effort. First to resist it because you dislike it, second to overcome the resistance, and third to finally finish the job."

I love the way you make me think about life and future jo. :]

Joanna said...

Yes, but Darren. My dad wanted to be a contractor, but after 40 years of the same job. He got bored of it. It was too much stress and he said he wish he'd chosen something like photography.

monn said...

So jo, then choose something you WANT, that you'll enjoy,that releases everything you are, you know?
You wanna act, go ahead and act. I think you'd be fantastic :)

I already think I'm making a mistake, not doing music or something, and I already feel like I've done too much and chosen my subjects that stop me from doing don't let it stop you, you know?

Love you