I've been writing a bit, amazingly with a pen, and it's all in a notebook so i'll post them here when I can, well, when I feel like it.
So I'm not going to elaborate but I've been so stressed `cause I have this responsibility that feels too big for me to handle. I mean, I want to help my mom out but sometimes its just too difficult, you know? Especially if they something brings out negativity, which this one does. But it's bloody hard because I know it's really important, as in REALLY important, so yeah. Sigh, this will make me stronger.
Summer. So far, it's been okay. I mean, the not going to malaysia thing was just an utter bummer but hopefully lienne, mon and sarah can come to the phlip side when its their summer (julyish) which would be really good. I really hope Cami's batangas thing pushes through, nobody has any idea how bad i need the beach. The beach is like. A part of me. I haven't gone in soo long, I have this feeling that if I go, I'll find happiness somewhere, you know? Sounds so strange, i get it, but I just think I'll see a little clearer if I go to the beach. I can't go out til my mom gets back from her province, which is hopefully tomorrow. I haven't been going out much but I don't feel that bored :/ Maybe cause I really hate my school, so I'm not missing it :P
Sigh, another thing. Awile ago I felt really down again, and I realised that I kind of don't have anyone to talk to :/ I have really awesome friends but I dont think there's anyone here I can tell everything to, you know? Nobody i can pour my guts out to, no one. I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to text. I miss my friends in malaysia :(
Emina wrote a blog about our adventures in year nine, nearly made me cry :( here's her blog, it's pretty fcking fantastic: Undulate.
check it out.
Sigh, another thing. I want to be an actress. Not as a career, but I want acting to be a part of my life, bigger than it already is. It sounds so superficial and out of reach, though. I mean, I haven't really had any training aside from 2 and a half years of drama classes at Garden, don't know if that actually counts, though. :/ My mom has a close friend with contacts, Robin Padilla's sister actually, but she's always so busy with her.. stuff. Anyway.